When it All Falls Apart

by - 7:08 PM

I've been silent on exactly what's been going on in my life, and even still I am choosing carefully what I choose to share and what I choose not to share.

From October 20th, 2015-November 23rd, 2015 my entire life fell apart.

Loss? Try losing it all. My children were suddenly no longer my children, my husband no longer my husband, my home no longer my home, my car no longer my car, my friends no longer my friends.

Literally my entire life crumbled around me and I went from relatively happy adopting/foster mom and wife to childless former foster parent and going through a divorce.

I stop sometimes and think about it and remember that it was real. That was my life.

But it's not anymore.

I spent a month in bed. Like, literally I did not leave my bedroom for a month.

Then the decision to end our marriage came up. I looked at Jeremy and I cried like a baby and I went to bed defeated that there was just no point anymore.

But the next day I woke up.

I woke up and I said "This is not the end."

And since that moment I have spent every day attempting to rebuild and reshape my life around one goal:

Be happy.

Every day is not easy. Lord knows that since then I have had NUMEROUS instances come up with MORE problems, more curves to my path, more pain.

But every day I say "This is not the end." and I make it better.

I have cut off every potentially negative person in my life and surrounded myself with positive supports. Having people in your life who actively care what's happening to you and are there to support you can and will make or break you. I am beyond blessed and grateful for the people in my life right now.

It took me a minute to get everything back on track but to date I am writing again, I am re-launching my YouTube channel, I am back in school, I have a part time restaurant job, I'm enjoying every moment with new and old friends, and I'm just enjoying the last year of my twenties.

Surround yourself with positivity. Embrace those close to you who have proven that they will be there for you. Embrace new friendships when the universe puts people into your life at just the right time. Most importantly, remember that when it all falls apart, today is not the end. 

As always, leave me some comment love. :)

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